Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Things I Never Thought I Would Say...

The title says it all. It becomes so common that you don't realize how uncommon these sayings are in the world(unless you are a parent...then you understand, but perhaps don't talk about it.) Therapeutically, I have posted SOME of the sayings here. As a comical sidenote, when I asked my wife if she remembered any, a SLEW of texts followed as if she had already typed them.

In no particular order:

-"Just where do you think you are going to put that booger?"

-"Go around the house and turn every light off in every room we are not currently in"

-"Unless you are going to eat that, don't bring it to the table"

-"When you manhandle the table and chairs at a truckstop, you essentially licking Trucker Butt"

-"...and don't lick the handicap handle in the toilet stall"

-"Don't crap your pants at the dinner table"

-"Noah, stop wearing your sisters dress and underwear"

-"PUT ON A COAT! It is 10 degrees outside!....SHOES TOO!!!!"

-"Stop throwing your underwear"

-"OH GREAT! I'm so glad someone left me turds in the toilet so I can see the regularity of my offspring"

-"Are you wearing underwear?"

-"Stop riding your sister like a horse"

-"Don't sit on your brothers head"

-"Don't pee in the cup in the bathroom"

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